master cleanse fail

that's right, this is a dwarf hybrid tree that includes lemons, limes and oranges.  it's bursting with fruit right now.

not-quite-ripe fresh lemons on our hybrid ‘fruit salad’ tree.

G and i have been hearing about this “fast” for over a year now.  i’ve never been one to diet and this fasting business sounds ridiculous if you ask me.  but of course, my husband wanted to try it b/c one of his friends supposedly has lost 30 pounds on this madness.

so on a sunday afternoon, when i typically grocery shop, G decides that he wants to join to the market.  “i want to go and buy the lemons and maple syrup!  let’s go to trader joe’s!”  odd.  ok. 
in trader joe’s, G scurries off to find the requisite grade b syrup and i look for lemons and limes.  apparently, trader joe’s only buys from farmers harvesting the smallest lemons and limes.  i pick up 4 bags of each and secretly giggle as i imagine graham juicing these tiny fruit.
we get home and i immediately pull out the juicer, the cutting board, and some tools for graham to begin squeezing.  he has to squeeze enough for a cup, which i estimate may take all 8 bags!  yes, the lemons and limes are that small. 
cut to an hour later when he’s finally finished with one cup, sticky juice all over the counters, he’s swearing, possibly sweating, and i suggest that he could have just gone to the gym for the amount of time he’ll have to do this everyday.  we laugh.
the next morning, he puts in 1 tsp of cayenne!  he’s only supposed to put in 1/10 tsp.  no surprise that it tastes spicy.  he also has to chug a glass of salt water. 
he comes home from work lethargic, grumpy and with a massive headache.  i tried to get home before he did so that i could cook and eat out of his sight, but somehow, he beat me home.  he never beats me home.  maybe he wasn’t feeling great?  anyway, i eat in front of him and ask him how the juice tastes, how he’s feeling, is this a smart thing to do? 
he admits that his pride is in his way and says “i have to do this for at least a few more days…”  we talk to his Dad who says “what are you doing?  we’ve got a big golf tournament on friday pal!  i can’t carry you!”  G still refuses a bite of food. 
then, while i’m on a call in the other room, i smell something cooking.  i sneak into the kitchen and see G grilling up something to eat.  “this fast is dumb.”  within minutes of eating, he’s his old self again…
i’ve got my hubby back!
About meesh

Meesh has a passion for people, creative projects, and technology. She enjoys painting furniture back to life, gardening, playing with her kids, and connecting people.